Darth Vader
Let’s face it. When you think of Star Wars, you instantly think of Darth Vader. Don’t believe me? Go and type in star wars on google images. The first picture on there is a half shot of Anakin and Darth. He’s also a pretty evil dude, which in a way makes him even cooler. He has a sleek suit, a badass lightsaber, a deep Barry White voice, and chokes you without even giving second thought. Darth is most certainly a champ and my favorite villain of all time.
Let’s start with the suit. How cool is that damn suit? All black and has a sweet little Mac book on his chest to run his bodily functions. Or at least I think so. At any rate nothing is more identifiable than that suit. Plus how sweet was that cape
in Empire when it was flowing in the wind?
But all these sweet details don’t even come close to the mask-helmet he has. No one on earth can be shown that and be puzzled as to what character it is. I bet you, NAY I DARE YOU to find someone who doesn’t know who this guy is. Balls in your court
All things aside he is a pretty cool dude. He runs the galaxy sort of as a figure head. Let’s be honest. Without Darth Vader at the Emperor’s side, some Joe Everyman could walk in and blow the Emperor’s brains on the wall. Don’t try and give me that “Well the Emperor has lightning bolts and force power! He can fend for himself!” I challenge you once again. Go find a 400 year old guy who can fight like Brock Lesnar, then we’ll talk. That’s right I said it. Any Leon Czolgosz* could have walked up behind the Emperor with a hankie draped over his gun and killed him. So Darth really was a badass who ran the Empire. Plus he **{SPOILER ALERT}
*If you don’t know your United States History, here is a brief summary of who that guy is. He pretty much was a crazy Polish guy who decided President McKinley had to kick the bucket. He draped a towel over his hand holding a gun and put a bullet in President McKinley’s stomach at the Pan-American exposition in
Is that a gun in your towel or are you just happy to see me?
I don’t care if you like Star Wars or not***, but you have to give praise to the character of Darth Vader.
***I actually care a lot. If you don’t like Star Wars I don’t like you as a person.
He will choke you out or slice you in half with a god damned lightsaber if you piss him off. He will destroy you and everyone you love, or have ever loved. He’s so evil he would kidnap your Grandma just to choke her out in front of you. Darth Vader, super bad ass, and super awesome.
Josh Gregoire says: Darth Vader – TAKE IT
Emo Kids
What a whiny bunch of misfits this social group is. What has an emo/scene kid ever done for you except give you something to laugh at? This harangue I’m about to go on may sound like a hate filled rhetoric, (Spoiler alert: This will be a hate filled rhetoric) but come on. SOO many more people have a rougher life than you. Watch the news and you will see that the world has a lot more problems than that new Underoath album being released a month later. Grow up, get a job, and get a hair cut.
Don’t get me wrong. I love screamo music. I won’t even touch screamo. My favorite band is screamo, (Hey would you rather listen to inaudible screaming and sweet music, or listen to senseless rap and some guy boasting about his sexual conquests. Those guys just sound like ass hole jocks to me.) Lets be real though. You have nothing to be so sad about. Everyone gets sad from time to time. I’ll even admit to getting a little sentimental and blue sometimes, but I don’t complain about god damned everything. I’m sure some kid in Fallujah would love to be in your cozy suburb home while you dodge bullets on the way to school.
How hard is your life when you live here?
Have you ever looked at an Emo couple before and wondered, “Which one is the dude?” Well you’re not alone. Both emo sexes dress in the same fashion. Tight tee shirt, tight jeans with some sort of studded belt, at least 2 piercings, the same haircut, and some sort of high top sneaker. God damn I’m confused.
Guess the gender. Have fun.
How non-conformist can you possibly be if you have to dress a certain way, listen to certain music, dislike certain people, and do certain things? That’s not non-conformist! That’s conformist! It’s so damn conformist fascist dictators would be jealous of the hold this trend has on people! But I digress. Seriously dude. If you want to be non-conformist then do your own thing. Listen to eclectic music, dress the way you want, and hang out with whomever. That’s what the 90s were all about.
This is not a cargo hold of conformity. It’s Just your family in a minivan.
Honestly this is the dumbest preteen to teenager trend in history. It may be worse than that whole flock of seagulls look back in the 80s. You know what I’m talking about. Ray-ban sunglasses, loose fitting white dress shirt with rolled up sleeves, black tie, acid wash jeans, and reebok or adidas sneakers. In summation, Emos are not for me. Nor will they ever be.
Josh Gregoire says: Emo Kids-LEAVE IT
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